Thursday, February 17, 2011


Red To Black

Should I say sorry for not updating? LOL
I think no need, mostly if I didn't stalk people blog they will not view my blog. =P

Okay back to topic. I didn't update for more than 1week? probably more than that. On 10 Feb 2010[The 8th day of CNY also my cousin birthday] around 3am-4am, I receive a call to empty my living room. Because my grandpa just pass away at Selayang Hospital.
Before that my dad, aunt Jenny and me was happily having our supper, because grandma is okay[fyi: my grandma was sent into Serdang Hospital on 9Feb2010], not long after that my dad receive call said my grandpa is in emergency.

The funeral last for 5days, everyone came to pay the last respect to my grandpa. Some relative I have never seen before also appear. Few days at funeral, I realize many thing about my uncle and aunt. 1 of my uncle rarely appear at my house came and cry like hell on that few days, I really damn pissed about that!! WHAT THE FUCK USE to cry like SHIT when people already die, when u didn't even bother to come to look at him when he still healthy. Even my sis said "He cry so random".
There still many more about my family, but I not going to say 1 by 1 to tell the whole world my relative is so Ahem AHEm~!! You know what I mean. What So ever!

Due to my grandma just sent in hospital, we didn't tell her anything about that. All have to lie to her when visit her at hospital, really suffer to lie to her. But 1 thing we don't know, is she actually knew it when my parents and uncle doesn't visit her, but only my aunt and cousin went. When we bring her home "where the funeral was held" she act nothing, but I can see her eyes full of tears. It really make me feel want to cry! After awhile my cousin bring her to her room she finally cry out. She an OLD LADY but very tough, now everyday she will live in the world without her live partner. My grandma living with us, so my relative have called me as her 'private nurse' because I will have to measure her blood pressure, remind her to take medicine and taking care her.

Sometime really feel very sad when saw grandma have to be alone, eg: just now i bring her to her room, she sleep on her sleeping chair but not bed. I don't know why, but i guess probably the bed will remind her about grandpa. The room is full of the smell and memory of my grandpa. When something remind me of grandpa really feel heartache, feel like crying.

After 5 days funeral, on 14 February 2010 [Valentine's day] we sent grandpa to Port Dickson memorial park *My grandpa new home*. My aunt Mei was next to my grandpa and my great grandparents is near by too.
Something like this, the location:

The white star is my Grandpa new 'house', blue is my Aunt Mei and green is my great grandparents.

Than on 15 Feb 2010 [the 1st 7th day after my grandpa pass away] all grandpa children and grandchildren have to come pray. Everyone overnight at my house because the next day[16Feb2010] we have to go Port Dickson to pray my grandpa again. All was exhausted for this few days.

And you know what? I think it is not easy to become a private nurse!!==" I have to keep remind her of the medicine. Scare she ate wrong medicine or missed the time to consume her medicine. Also have to remind myself to refill her medicine case and measure blood pressure. If anything happen to her it will be my fault==". Sound so scary!! Thinking about it already make me shaking. The worst is, our relation is like stranger. Because we very less communicate, due to she never like to talk with us 'maybe cause she always saw us, we live together'.

Although the funeral have end and my grandpa new 'house' have settle too. It wasn't the end of everything, due to Buddha custom/traditional this whole year of 2011 we can't celebrate any festival "eg: mooncake fest/dumpling fest/tang yuan fest or getting marry". We can't hang up any red/yellow related colours stuff at living room or wearing it on us for 49 or 100 days. The worst is no entertainment "eg: no movie/no clubbing or no karaoke" in 100 days. Better to avoid attending people wedding or birthday cause according to the older it is bad to the couple/birthday person. But if my friend doesn't mind about it than it is okay.

Anyway, today is Lantern Festival[元宵节快乐]. Also the last day of CNY and many people will go attending the traditional event, single female will wrote their number on a mandarin and throw into the lake or sea. The single male will go and catch it. Me this single female sitting at home watching television and online-ing here. LOL~

Anyway, Hope everyone having great time on CNY and welcome to the new 2011.

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